My wife, kids, 2 dogs and I are teetering on the brink of a massive life change—moving countries.
So nauturally life feels heavy, small things feel magnified.
It’s the sort of decision that’s like a lead weight in your mind, constantly there, impossible to ignore.
Now, when life hands you a steaming bowl of hot chaos, the easiest thing is to grab your phone and numb yourself with an endless scroll through TikTok, where fresh-faced Gen-Zers try to sell you budget toilet paper.
Harmless distraction? Seems so.
But perhpas not...
Social media platforms, those sneaky swines, are engineered to snag your attention when you're at your lowest.
That mindless scrolling isn't just bad luck. It's by design.
The more you’re glued to your screen, the more you’re being milked—not just your time but your personal data too. It’s a goldmine for them.
As we flick past endless selfies and holiday snaps, let’s be clear: we're not the customers; we're the merchandise.
Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok cost you nothing because they're busy selling what you offer for free—your attention. That’s their real currency.
Attention has become the new global currency.
Every like, every swipe, every minute you spend is another penny in their jar.
And they’re crafty, these apps. Ever noticed how refreshing your feed feels like pulling a lever on a slot machine? It's a cheap psychological trick, tapping into our love for the unpredictable, baiting us to chase that next cheap digital dopamine rush.
Sometimes you score a laugh; other times, it’s just another mindless video. But the uncertainty? That’s what keeps us coming back.
Now's actually the time to be reflective, to wrestle with the big decisions, not to drown them out with digital nonsense.
I’m trying to lean into the discomfort of moving to a strange new place, resisting the urge to vanish into the abyss of doomscrolling.
Why? Because the more I sidestep reality, the more anxiety I feel and the more elusive sleep becomes.
Oh, and those apps? They've scrapped all natural "stopping cues" that signal it's time to put the phone down. Much like a casino devoid of clocks and windows, they trap you in an endless loop of scrolling.
They don’t want you looking up.
They want you engrossed. Permanently.
Reed Hastings, the co-founder and CEO of Netflix, famously stated during a 2017 earnings call that Netflix's biggest competitor is sleep, highlighting how the company vies for viewers' attention against even their need for rest.
When you look at TikTok from a user experience angle, it would make no sense why, when you finish watching a video, it wouldn’t take you to the next one in the sequence. They make you swipe because if you don't, you'll be punished with repetition. It's their insidious way of keeping your full attention.
It’s not just about squandered time, either.
These platforms are doing a number on our brains. They lazer target the dopamine system, the bit that gets you hooked on habits.
Each time we discover something new or exciting online, our brain cheers us on with a hit of dopamine, egging us to repeat the behavior.
It’s the same trick used to hook someone on gambling or smoking.
Every buzz, every notification is engineered to make you drop everything and look. Even before you see what it is, your brain’s already giving you a pat on the back just for being connected.
A 2019 study by Elhai and colleagues found that emotions like anger and worry are associated with more severe smartphone use problems.
This research suggests that when people feel stressed, anxious, or angry, they may turn to their phones as a coping mechanism, which can worsen these feelings by creating a cycle of dependency and emotional dysregulation
Phones are reshaping our experiences, influencing how our kids grow up, and even affecting their self-perception.
The cost of a 'like' runs deeper than we think.
Another study published in BMC Psychiatry found that higher smartphone addiction scores were significantly associated with increased levels of depression, especially in younger users.
No surprise there, given that the very tools we use to dodge life’s stresses are amplifying them.
So, the next time you feel swamped, resist the pull-to-refresh urge.
Sit with your thoughts. Let them percolate.
Try processing what’s really going on instead of shoving it aside with a swipe.
Easier said than done, right? But each time you manage it, you're clawing back a bit of control.
We need a serious reevaluation of our interaction with these platforms, not just a temporary digital detox.
Because if we don't, they’ll continue to shape our lives in ways we might not even realise.
However, the good news is that awareness is growing.
The first step is recognising what's happening to us; the second is taking decisive action to break free from it.
A recent study found that more people are recognising the impact of excessive screen time and are actively seeking ways to mitigate it, suggesting a promising shift towards more mindful media consumption.
As Viktor Frankl once said, "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
Cheers,
Stef
